Admitting it... and searching for help...

For a number of years I've been trying to give up. It started off slowly, as anyone equally addicted would say really, but for the past time I've noticed that it had spanned out of control. Honestly, I just cannot control it, although every single day i am thinking of giving up, and holding another portion in my hand I have a strong motivation to throw it away, but then something makes me eat it - with a though "This is the last one, I will just get rid of the last one and will never eat another again... well maybe just every now and then/once a week... etc."

This doesn't affect my body thankfully, as I do a lot of exercise, so I am relatively healthy, and I do eat pretty healthy too, apart from this "little treat". Although I've noticed how it affects my skin and I'm very conscious about my teeth - so it's on my mind all the time. But I still see myself reaching for it.

At this stage you probably think that I'm a complete psycho - but I really see this as a problem at this stage. I just can't give up chocolate. Not even giving up - cutting down doesn't work. You might think - just exactly how bad it could be?

Well, on one of the websites I found on "taming the addiction" it says that one should keep a diary on how many times a day they indulge and what time of the day. How about - straight away once I wake up, and just before going to bed, and then probably twenty times at work? The notepad wouldn't last for two days. And I'm not alone - which doesn't help at all - as my work mate is equally addicted - and she does admit it too. I mean my day starts off with a bar of super dark chocolate - to wake me up. Then I have a stash in the car - to help me go through the stressful traffic. I arrive to work only to find my favourite chocolate chip muffin - from another work mate. Through the day one of us decides to go over the shop across the road to get some Maltesers (talk about an extra big pack), to go through it within 10 minutes. Then we find some chocolate of another workmate, and ask if we could "borrow some"(off course it's one of those borrows when you actually don't give it back). And then I remember about my stash on the way to college. And off course some chocolate before college to help me survive the late-eve lecture.

Food behavior can look like addictive behavior in extreme situations but chocolate does not fit these criteria" (stolen form here). Yeah, right! Over my overpowered 11m like! You say that consuming this much chocolate is not an addiction??? Wiki: "The term "addiction" is used in many contexts to describe an obsession, compulsion, or excessive physical dependence or psychological dependence". So, like, "hello"? Did you read the above??? And I do trust Wiki more than anything (sometimes wrongly maybe, but I'm sure of I check with Oxy[Oxford] it would tell me the same??).

Great, what am I supposed to do now? I dunno yet, but I've researched it a bit. And most of the websites say that I should "substitute" chocolate for some other treat. And I mean - I love carrots - and they're sweet and all. To my work mate's amusement - I've tried to keep a box of cut carrots on the desk. They were gone in 15 minutes. And then I went to the shops. For chocolate. So - exactly how many carrots am I supposed to keep on the desk???

If anyone has any suggestions on what to do with this - all very welcome. But I will try to find the way to fight this thing, with as many approaches as I can. And I will document them here - although this was supposed to be more of a kitesurfing related blog - but it's also my personal blog - and this is a massive part of my personality.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

This is the day one. Although maybe a half of the day, as I cleaned up the stash in the car this morning...